Do you feel like all the romance has gone out the window? Have all these years that you’ve been committed to one human suddenly taken a toll? It happens to the best of us, really. It’s partly routine, comfort, and contentment that are the reasons behind such madness. Some of it is indeed our partners that are to blame, yet some of it is ourselves as well. Pointing the finger will do no good, for anyone, ever. Long term relationships are all about growth and moving forward. When we’re living in our yesterday’s, then we’re ruining our today’s and tomorrow’s.
The tricky, yet very worthwhile part of this whole conundrum is turning it all around. After years (or even months) of the same ol’ lifestyle and routine, how does one go about bringing that little spark back without looking like a total goone? If you don’t want your partner to think you’ve completely flown the coop, yet you want to rekindle that irresistible pull you once had for each other, then these five simple tips might help turn things around.
Little things are bigger than we think, it’s like baby steps in the right direction. Especially when they’ve been lacking. If we don’t know where to start, then this could easily be the best place. Face your partner when they’re talking, look at them. Put your phone away, and lean toward them instead of in the opposite direction. More often than not, if the love and respect is still there, that attentive treatment will be returned full force. Positive body language is contagious. We can’t keep the argument that, “If they won’t give me attention, then I won’t give them attention either.” Take the initiative and show your partner that you still care by the way you reach for their hand. The way you curl your legs in their direction and lean into their space, like you really do actually want more of it. Once those little movements feel like the normal again, maybe step it up a notch. Stare at your lover’s mouth while they talk and then bite your bottom lip in an obvious way. Purposefully look down their shirt or at their belt-line at random times. It’s the small suggestive quiet things that’ll get them going every time. No one said it better than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, “Now don’t underestimate the importance of body language.”
We’ve all read those articles that say ‘dress up for your spouse, do your hair and fix your makeup when your husband is coming home from work.’ You know, the ones that make you laugh so hard you could cry or spit a drink from your nostrils. This is not that article. Let’s take a different approach to appearances. The healthy happy kind. Care about your hygiene and cleanliness first and foremost, and then dress in a way that makes you feel good and sexy. Because when you feel sexy, you look sexy to your partner. There is little in life that is more attractive than confidence! It shines from the inside out, and illuminates in your appearance. Dressing up is of course important, especially for occasions. Put yourself on the outside looking in for one minute, just once in awhile (especially for important events) and think to yourself, Hmmm which outfit will make my partner really squirm in a wanting way tonight? Then wear that!
Showing your partner that you’re curious and interested in their hobbies, tells them that you’re interested and care about them! It’s really that simple. Ask questions, make an effort to at least be knowledgeable about what your partner likes or doesn’t like. Ladies, it doesn’t matter if you could not care less about Star Wars, wear that Princess Leia costume to bed one night anyway. Who cares if you think Camo makes your skin look washed out. Buy those camo panties, and surprise the crap out of your man, because you never know what kind of wild animal you’ll release by doing so! Men, suck it up and watch that chick flick movie you’ve been avoiding. Then when it’s all over, wipe the tear from her face and tell her that she looks beautiful when she cries, because she does! Who knows, maybe she’ll return the selflessness in the bedroom later on. *wink*wink*
Change of Scenery
It’s no secret that changes of any kind can spark a fresh new feel. Change is like a light switch in our heads that make us notice everything, not just the one thing different. Think of someone you know who just got a haircut and then all of the sudden even their shirt and smile looks different. Or when you rearrange the same old furniture, yet the entire room looks bigger and even the lighting seems fresh and new. Now, I’m not saying let’s go rack up a bunch of credit card debt on an entire new wardrobe, or let’s take a sledgehammer and knock out a wall in our houses. I’m talking, let’s start small. Go out to dinner at a new restaurant, try new hairstyles, be nice to someone that you usually can’t stand. Anything that grabs a new and different kind of attention from your partner, just for the sake of a thought process switch. Once you have their attention then, bam, apply the other moves. It’s like catching a fish, you have to hook them before you can reel them in.
Don’t blush, we live in a whole new kind of world now. If you can text your partner and ask them to stop on the way home to grab a gallon of mink, then you can text your partner and tell them what’s going on under your clothes too. It doesn’t have to be raunchy or make you feel dirty (although sometimes feeling dirty is exactly what your partner wants! So keep that in mind.) If you embarrass easily then just take a cleaner approach. Send a short message to your partner to announce the fact that you just bought some new panties. The anticipation will eat at them all day, and you didn’t even say anything worth a blush. Send one text every single day for a month and see what happens. Make them just as clean or just dirty as you’re comfortable with, but do it. Take it from a compliment on their outfit the night before, to every tiny little detail that you plan on doing with their bodies before you go to bed that night. Either way, just do it. Make the effort. Sexting is huge.
Good luck couples! Let’s make the changes. Follow the tips. Keep the flirt alive in our relationships, because we deserve it!
For more interesting reading on how to keep the fire alive in your relationship see: