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Seven Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Sex & Relationships

Seven Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

We all get in a sexual rut. The excitement of the honeymoon period is over. Life gets in the way and being with the same person for an extended period of time makes it easier to put sex on the back burner.


Luckily, there are many ways to help you put the X back in sex.


Here are seven of them:


  1. Read erotic literature. Grab a spicy book and read it together. Erotica comes in many different forms. Some are romantic with sexual overtones, akin to R-rated movies. Some books are X-rated and above. Hop on Goodreads and check out their Romantic Erotica stories. Anthologies are a great way to go if you’ve never dabbled in this type of literature. With the variety of stories, you can experiment and see what you like.


  1. Role play. Pretend to be someone else, such as a doctor or newly single parent. Bump into your significant other at a bar or club. Sit alone in a restaurant or coffee shop and then hook up. Meet each other during a walk in the park. How would your alter ego act in these settings? Let your imagination run wild and explore how far you can take it.


For a more romantic slant, forget everything you know about your significant other and meet them again for the first time. Forget the food poisoning from last week, or that you’re so comfortable together you don’t even say “excuse me” anymore. Just be who you are and imagine you don’t know anything about your significant other. There’s a good chance you’ll remember some long-forgotten things that made you fall in love.


  1. Sexy clothes. Purchase an outfit your lover finds irresistible or ask your lover to buy one for you. If you have something sexy you’ve forgotten about, dust that off and slip it on.  Then surprise your lover after work and perform a strip dance. There is nothing more attractive than your lover dressed to your liking.


Think outside the box! Maybe a doctor wearing scrubs, or a strict librarian with glasses and a tight bun turns on your lover. This sort of dress up could even be combined with No. two.


  1. Create a romantic evening. Surprise your sweetie with scented candles, soft and sensual music, and a massage. Be sure to use your sweetie’s favorite scent, and favorite song or type of music. If you want to add a little more fun, stimulate your sweetie to the edge of climax and then take a break to feed each other berries with whipped cream. Afterwards, finish what you started and end the evening relaxing in front of the fireplace with a glass of wine and conversation.


  1. Visit an adult toy store together. Explore the store, buy some toys, then take them home and play. Even if you don’t want to spend money or have all the supplies you need, explore the store and get some new ideas or create an early Christmas list.


Or bring the sex toy store to your home. There are numerous businesses specializing in romantic accoutrements. The company representative visits your house, brings all the goodies, and discusses them. If you’re uncomfortable ordering in front of others, ask to do so privately. If you’re uncomfortable doing this with the opposite sex, invite your friends and have a few laughs. Then your purchases will be a surprise for your spouse afterwards.


  1. Make a spice box. Write down some intimate ideas on a piece of paper, fold them up and put them in a container. Brainstorm with your partner. Then when it seems you need a little variation in the bedroom, pick a piece a paper and do what it says. Fold the pieces of paper tightly so you’re both surprised by what’s written on them; however, be sure your significant other is comfortable with all your ideas before doing so.


  1. Take a shower or bath together. Conserving both water and time is important to many of us so here’s a perfect opportunity to do both! Turn on the shower and soap each other up! Or run a bath and snuggle in a tub infused with scented oil or bubbles. Afterwards, slide into some comfy jammies and snuggle on the couch with a romantic movie. Or slide into some comfy sheets, and “snuggle” in bed…


Alternatively, draw a bath for your partner with their favorite music, candles and scented bath oils. Leave them alone to relax and then wait for them in the bedroom, naked.


Everyone goes through dry spells and these are just a few ways to hydrate your sex life. The most important things to remember are respect each other’s choices and voice your own desires.

After that, just lock the door, pull the shades, and have fun!

For more relationship advice see the five languages of love and the five stages of love :why most stop at stage three.


Lynn has been writing as long as she could hold a pencil. She's currently working on a memoir about adopting through foster care and has been featured on numerous adoption blogs. She advocates for foster care adoption in Northern California where she lives with her husband of 15 years, three children, and four furry companions.

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