Sex & Relationships

Modern Dating, Technology, and Disconnection

Written by Savannah Esposito

When you think of going out on a date, do you imagine flowers, him walking to the door and ringing the bell, a candlelit dinner, some nice champagne, and wonderful conversation to get to know the individual? Or, do you imagine taking out your smartphone, opening a dating app, swiping right if they are “hot enough” and swiping left if they aren’t? The ones you match with, maybe you exchange a few words and then meet up. What are your expectations? Is the goal getting to know them or getting to sleep with them? What are you looking for?

Really, take a moment, reflect honestly, and ask yourself that.

Dating in this day and age is almost unrecognizable to the generations before. There used to be romance, courting, and respect. These days, dating has become superficial, a way to get into people’s pants so to speak. Although, that wouldn’t be called dating. So, what is the definition of dating? Dating is simply the early stages of a relationship. It’s where you get to know the other individual, and you can see if you and them actually click, if there’s a spark, if you have similar interests.

These days, dating has become so complicated, filled with insecurities and games. Whatever happened to the days where a guy or girl was brave enough to ask the other one out? Or, even pass a cute note in class? These days men seem to be scared of many things. Scared of intimacy, scared of looking bad, scared of judgment, scared of not being good enough.

So, what changed the dating game? Simple, technology. Technology has effectively emasculated men and has objectified women. This is the first generation to see the negative effects of pornography, with many guys in their teens and early twenties suffering from porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Women have been turned into sex objects for a man’s pleasure with technology. Both sexes are suffering from the effects of overstimulation and dependence to technology.

Technology has created a barrier to connection, which is what humans constantly are craving. Men and women are scared to start a conversation in person but online, they are fearless. They put on a show. In Philip Zimbardo’s book Man Interrupted, he speaks of how technology has impacted men in today’s society, where men are unable to perform in the bed with women, how they are not able to carry on a conversation with a woman because they struggle to see women as equal.

So, what does all this have to do with dating? Well, knowledge is power, and learning the effects of technology can actually enhance your dating life. You can begin to see the effects technology has on you and how you interact with the opposite sex. And are dating apps really helping you achieve what you want? Or are they creating doubt, confidence issues, fears of living up to the online persona? Sometimes, old-fashioned romance and dating are better. There is human interaction from the get-go.

Think about your first date. How did it go? What did you expect? Think about your most recent dates you’ve been on or been taken on. What was the level of interaction? Did either of you take out your phones at any point? Real romance is better for everyone. It’s incredibly important for a meaningful relationship. Technology has far overstepped its reasonable boundaries in all types of relationships. Let’s try to bring back the real human connection that is so lost in society today. Put the phones away and really talk with your date, partner, significant other. It’s important for us and future generations, a lot more important than one may think.

 

About the author

Savannah Esposito

Savannah has been writing since she was fifteen years old when she started a book series, which became popular online. She attended SCAD, studying Creative and Dramatic writing until she transferred to John Jay College of Criminal Justice to study Forensic Psychology. She now has a blog called Millennial Mrs and Mom that she writes while she finishes pursuing her education.

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